Making Assumptions, Over Thinking, Stress and Negative Outcomes

Have you ever felt that being human is sometimes a curse? We think too much, we make so many assumptions, we stress so much and the results from these habits are always negative.

Animals have it so easy – they don’t need to think that much or assume anything or stress about life unless it is to do with food. Things just pan out for them the way they are meant to – either they eat or get eaten. Oops, ok, not the best way to live life 🙂 but still, you get my point. Life is simple for animals. Humans complicate everything.

I have to be honest, I plead guilty to the whole over-assuming, over thinking and stressing out saga. I wish I didn’t but it’s true. Some of us are great at blocking out problems and crossing the bridge when they get there, whilst some of us are champions at over-thinking and blowing everything out of proportion.

If you are good at blocking it out, good for you. Please comment and leave some tips on how you do this. If you’re not so great at dealing with negative thoughts or assumptions, do keep reading.

So you could be at one of two stages:

1. You are aware that you over-think and blow everything out of proportion. Good, being aware is the first step.
2. You are not aware of this but you know that things sometimes do get heated. Perhaps, someone has told you that you blow everything out of proportion but you are yet to accept or acknowledge this.

Let’s start with the stage where you are not aware that you over-think or over-assume.

Perhaps, you don’t. Perhaps things just don’t pan out the way you want them to. Perhaps, you’re just surrounded by horrible people who tell you that you overthink everything i.e. deflect the spotlight off them.

But here are a few things that might help you pinpoint if you do;

1. After it’s all said and done, you think perhaps you might have over-reacted.
2. Once you start thinking about an issue, you can’t stop thinking about it. Infact, your head gets really heated up from all the over-thinking and you feel like you need to go for a walk or holiday to just get away from it all.
3. In hindsight, you could have handled it differently and come up with a more amicable result.
4. More than one person has told you that you over-think.
5. You lose sleep due to thinking about things you can’t control.

If the above outlined processes happen every time you end up in a problem, then you might have an over-thinking and over-assuming problem.

The problem with overthinking or over-assuming is that it can create problems that did not exist in the first place.

Our mind is an amazing thing. It has the ability to visualise and create imaginary things that don’t exist which can help with innovation and motivation. However, it can also create negative imaginary problems that do not exist in real life.

The body cannot differentiate between what your mind has created and the truth on the ground. It will always assume that what the mind sees is the truth.

And believe me, when I say that we can really push things over the edge with our mind.

I’ve been through this process. I’ve conjured up things that did not actually exist based on assumptions. I based these assumptions on my past experiences and was so sure I was right – I could not be wrong. It had happened so many times that I had learned from my mistakes and I was dead sure about the issue at hand.

I thought and thought till I was fed up. I assumed all the worst possible scenarios. I cried all night long with the sob story of “I can’t believe this is happening to me”. I was even about to take steps that would create an outcome that would have been very bad.

However, I spoke to someone about my issue, something I don’t normally do. My friend advised me to check the facts – to just ask and see what happens. That’s what I did.

Guess what? It was nothing that I had imagined. Infact, it was something that was so unexpected. In that moment, I realised there’s a problem with me that I need to fix.

I need to fix this problem of over-thinking, over-assuming and stressing unnecessarily.

So how do we go about the issues above of over-thinking and over-assuming?

How can we balance our future predictions based on what we have experienced before and plain old blowing things out of proportion?

Here’s how I’m handling it:

1. Do not assume anything until you have checked your facts

Base all your actions on pure hard facts.

If you do not physically hear or see something with your own eyes and ears, do not make any assumptions. If you are not sure about something, look into it without any assumptions or biases.

Look up whatever is bothering you, ask someone if you need to but I urge you, stay away from making any calls until you have some evidence that supports what you are feeling. You’ll save yourself a lot of trouble.

2. Your gut instinct is usually right but always apply benefit of doubt

Most of the time, our gut instinct is right. And most of the time, I trust my gut. Even if my gut tells me something is not right, I will still apply benefit of doubt and give whatever it is a second chance.

I was so fed of applying second chances that I decided I would only go with my gut feeling – and this is what created the issue that I spoke of above.

No matter how rubbish applying benefit of doubt might feel ( I know I’ve been let down many times by giving things second chances) – it might actually work in your favour in the one time that matters.

What’s the worst that will happen if you apply benefit of doubt? You’ll have given extra thought and time to the matter at hand – but atleast you’ll be dead sure that you know what is really going on.

3. When you get a bad feeling or feel the urge to react, don’t.

When something bad happens in your life, your automatic sets of habits and reactions will kick in, taking you down a predictable path.

Start changing these habits. When something bad happens (something you think is bad), take a step back and try to analyse the situation at hand.

Look at the facts. Ask the person involved. Do some more digging.

Do not fall into the trap of assuming. Just tell yourself – innocent until proven guilty.

You’ll feel an automatic reaction to think and assume, but just stop yourself. You control your mind, it does not control you. Tell your mind to be patient until you are sure about the problem.

4. Talk to someone you trust before taking any action

I normally do things on my own and hence my actions will always be the same old predictable actions.

However, I changed what I normally did by talking to someone about my problem before taking any action.

Guess what? I got a different perspective and did what I do differently and obtained different results – positive results.

Hence, talking to someone you trust – who will give you an objective view – not a biased view – can really help you see that perhaps you’re over-reacting.

5. Spend some time thinking about what’s bothering you

I love meditating in the morning to start my day right. After I’ve meditated, my mind is at its peak.

I then spend 10-15 minutes thinking about my problems and whatever is bothering me.

Before taking any action, I use this time to properly think it through rather than letting my mind go off assuming and making up things.

During this process, I come up with a solution or action steps to figure out what is really going on.

Try it, you’ll definitely get better results.

 

It’s not easy to control your mind. It’s easier to let your mind do the thinking for you based on past experiences and just go with it. But if you want your life to pan out in the best way possible, it’s good to take a step back and evaluate whether your responses are the right ones. Could you be getting better results if you reacted differently – good results? If the answer to this is yes, then you really need to start working on your mind.

The reason we react the way we do is because it has become a habit. It’s not a good habit and it needs to be changed. The important thing is to be aware of your assuming and over-thinking problems. This way, slowly over time, you’ll be able to practise a more laid back approach and break the bad habits. But it will take time.

Once you see the change in your results from the change in your habit, you’ll be more motivated to check facts and not assume or over-think. You’ll be happier, less stressed and more fulfilled.

I hope this post helps you. If there are other things you’d like to share about how you are dealing with over-thinking and assuming, please feel free to share. I would love to hear about it 🙂