Remaining positive in the face of adversities

This week I want to write about how to stay positive no matter what life throws at you.

Life is hard and things don’t always go the way you want them to. You put in the work but you don’t get the results. You behave in a certain way, heck, you learn from your mistakes and do things differently, but it still doesn’t pan out. You try your very best but still have no luck.

When you’ve given it your all and it still doesn’t go your way, how can you be happy? How can you keep living life and still stay positive? How can you stay hopeful? Isn’t it easier to just give up?

 

 

How to stay positive in the face of adversities?

 

1. Accept that there are ups and downs in LIFE

The most important thing to realise is that life is full of ups and downs. Life will never always be good, great, amazing. Infact, more often than not, it will be bad, worse and rubbish. The sooner you accept this, the better.

Understand that in life, there are very few things that are actually in our control. If you start worrying and feeling sad about everything that goes wrong, then you’ll never be happy – because things will always go wrong. I’m not being a pessimist, I’m just being a realist.

I’m a big advocate of creating our own destiny. If you put in the work rather than sitting back, you can change the chapter in your life. Try your best so that you can ensure you have no regrets. But if it doesn’t work out, accept that it wasn’t meant to be and move on. The faster you can accept it for what it is and move on, the more positive you’ll be and happier.

I know it’s easier said than done and I struggle with this as well. But if you start practising it, slowly over time, you can get better at this acceptance and moving on.

 

2. Something better is coming along

 

When something doesn’t work out, perhaps it means that it isn’t right for you and should not be in your life.

You are a certain type of person and there are certain things in life that are right for you. You may think that something is required in your life when it isn’t.

Have you ever been in a situation whereby you were really sad that something didn’t work out? After several weeks or months had passed by, in hindsight, you were glad it didn’t work out because you now know that it wasn’t right for you?

I have been in this situation countless times. I’ve now come to realise that if something doesn’t work out, it is for the best. Stay positive and believe that something better will come along.

Or maybe something better won’t come along. But I think it’s better not to have something better come along than to have something worse introduced into your life. If you force something that isn’t meant for you into your life, you may add a fresh new hell to your life. So go with the flow and what’s meant to be will be.

 

3. Talk to your friends or family

 

The best way to deal with something is to talk to someone about it and who better than people you love and trust?

When you talk to someone about something that is bothering you, you will feel lighter almost like you have lifted a weight off your shoulders. Saying something out loud allows you to analyse it better. Your friends may suggest solutions and offer advice. Saying it out loud (getting out of your head) may make you realise the situation isn’t as bad as you made it out to be.

Keeping things to ourselves can cause us to ruminate over things and create imaginary problems that don’t really exist. So if you are facing an adversity, meet up with your friends, talk about it, feel better and this will help you stay on a positive path.

 

4. Keep Busy

Over-thinking and procrastinating can make any situation worse. When you have a lot of free time on your hands, you are more likely to think and daydream.

In order to avoid falling into this trap, stay busy. Do things you love, go out, meet people, read that book, take up that hobby, work on yourself and work towards your purpose.

This action will cancel out whatever adversity you are facing twofold:

a) You’ll be doing something useful in your life and achieving something whether it is skills, learning something new or progressing in your work. This may cancel out the negative effect on your life due to the adversity to an extent by adding some positivity due to the knowledge gained.

b) You’ll spend less time thinking about the adversity and it may not be a big deal after all. When you’re not busy, you spend more time thinking about what’s going wrong, making the situation worse even if it isn’t, putting yourself in a poor state of mind and creating more opportunities for sadness due to this. If you are in a poor state of mind, you are likely to face more problems.

By keeping busy, you’ll be more positive and achieve more in your life.

 

5. Meditate

If you read most of my posts, you’ll notice meditation appears to be a solution for most things.

This is because I feel that meditation is very important for our mental wellbeing.

Meditation helps me alot. When I meditate, it calms me down. It allows me to let go of negative feelings and emotions. It allows me to look at problems with a more open mind and devise solutions.

Meditation gives my mind a break from the constant rumination whereby you keep thinking about something over and over again.

Spending 20-30 minutes daily on meditation prevents my mind from going out of control over small things and keeps me grounded enabling me to stay positive and motivated to resolve issues.

 

6. Journalling

Similar to talking to your friends, journalling allows you to write down your thoughts. It feels the same as sharing a problem with a friend because after enough journalling, the heart feels lighter.

I believe the recommended journalling time is 20 minutes. Simply write down all your thoughts, whatever is bothering you, how you are feeling, what solutions you can think of.

The best thing about journalling is that you don’t need to share this with anyone. This works well if you want to keep the matter private or don’t have anyone whom you trust enough to help you out.

 

7. Take A Walk

One of my favourite favourite things to do when I’m facing an adversity or feeling sad is to take a walk, preferably in a park, away from distractions, people and tech.

There’s something about the fresh air, green trees, rustle of the leaves that takes me to a different world. I can sigh all I want, breathe in that fresh outdoor air and just let go.

Slowly, I get out of my own head, look at the bigger picture and feel better. I can think of solutions or I realise that the world is so beautiful and life is too short to be unhappy. I need to put my problems aside and focus on making the most out of my life, pursue my goals, do the things I love and travel. Life is slipping away and I can’t spend the remaining years I have worrying about something I have no control over.

Being outdoors in nature really makes me feel better and I would recommend that you go out for fresh air everyday, not just when you have a problem. It will keep you in the right state of mind.

 

8. Get some sleep

Sleep is seriously underrated. There are so many problems that I get when I don’t sleep well ranging from brain fog to migraines to unproductive days and irritable moods.

Sometimes, getting sleep can really help the mind rest. Sleeping over that problem can remove the excessive negative feelings associated with it allowing you to think clearer the next morning. Even if it doesn’t remove the negative feelings, your brain will be more refreshed and you’ll be able to think of ways to get out of the problem.

We are in our most resourceful states when we live a healthy lifestyle and that includes getting enough sleep.

 

9. Exercise and maintain your healthy routine

When we are going through tough times, most important things such as eating well and exercising take a back seat.

We tell ourselves that we either don’t have time to eat well or exercise or that we are so sad that we deserve to just eat junk and be lazy. Yes, at times, it’s good to take a break but this can quickly escalate into an everyday thing.

When you don’t eat well, sleep well, exercise, get fresh air and live healthy, you will quickly find your problems compounding. No matter how big your problem is, try to live a healthy lifestyle the best way you can so that you don’t end up in an even bigger hole.

 

10. Practise gratitude and help others less fortunate

When you are facing a problem, it feels as though you are the only one going through a problem. Everyone else seems to have their life sorted out but not you.

Practising gratitude daily will allow you to see that actually you are very fortunate to have food on the table, a roof on your head, a safe place to live, people who love you. There are so many people out there with much fewer things than you and yet are still happy.

So is your problem so big that you should be unhappy? Are you losing your life? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So chin up, practise gratitude and appreciate what you do have. This will enable you to stay positive in life.

Secondly, volunteering at places where people need your help will allow you to once again appreciate how fortunate you are. It will make your issues appear miniscule compared to what others are going through. But also, it is in our human nature to empathise and help others. Volunteering and helping others will give your life a sense of purpose, making you feel happy and will help overcome negative feelings from adversities you are facing.

 

How to stay positive in the face of adversities

I hope these 10 tips on how to stay positive in life when facing adversities help you. I’m sure there are so many more ways to stay positive but the tips above help me the most.

It’s in our human nature to feel down when you don’t get what you want. It happens to me pretty much every day but I try my best to handle my feelings the best way I can. So don’t be too tough on yourself if you’re always feeling down.

The important thing is to realise that you want to be positive and take steps towards making that happen.