Happiness and Letting Go

Holding on to something when it’s wonderful and is making you smile is a good feeling. Holding on to something when it’s making you miserable and bringing pain into your heart is not a good feeling.

Sometimes, letting go is the answer.

It’s not easy to let go. Whatever it is that you need to let go is engrained into your very being, otherwise it would not be causing you so much pain.

Perhaps, you have put in a lot of work, time and effort into what you need to let go. You’ve put in years, not days. You gave up other things so that you could gain this thing. You don’t know who you’ll be or what will become of you if you let go. You don’t know of any other way to get what you want if not this. There’s just so much uncertainty.

You keep weighing up the pros and cons. Should you hold on or should you let go?

My question to you is, which of these two do you value more: Happiness or Misery?

When should you let go?

When you have something wonderful in your life, you should definitely hold on to it. If something goes wrong, you should not give up.

Whether it is to do with business, relationships, skills, work, no matter which aspect of your life, you should always work through your problems to make it even better.

However, there comes a time when no matter what you do, no matter how hard you work, no matter how much time and effort you put in, you get a negative response. This is more to do with people rather than anything else.

For things such as work, business, skill building, there is a very high probability that if you put in alot of work and effort, you will actually get the results you desire. Whereas, this is not necessarily the case with relationships.

Do you know why? Because people have emotions. People are complicated. Infact, I’ll tell you how. The more you love and adore a person, the more you are taken for granted. That is how complicated humans are. Whereas the more passionate you are about your work or hobby, the more likely you’ll be successful in your endeavours.

Regardless, whether it is to do with people or not to do with people, there comes a time when you need to let go to regain your happiness. So when should you let go?

It is time to let go when you know that you’ve done all you could do to make it work. You have not left any stone unturned.

It is time to let go when you know that no matter what you do, you are getting a negative response.

It is time to let go when this thing is taking away from your happiness in a chronic way rather than adding to it.

What happens when you let go?

When a person decides to let go, they will go through one of two scenarios:

They’ll feel a sense of relief

Usually, when some people choose to let go, it’s because they have had enough.

They can’t deal with the issue any longer.

That final step of letting go will be a big hurdle to overcome but when they finally decide that enough is enough, letting go will give them a sense of relief and lift a burden off their shoulders.

For such people, it is easier to let go.

2. They’ll go through a slew of emotions before experiencing relief

For some people, letting go is such a blow and difficult thing to do but it doesn’t just end there.

When they let go of the thing that’s bringing them sadness, they’ll go through a slew of emotions.

It will be difficult to cope with life. They’ll feel sad, they’ll feel like as though they are missing something very important in their lives.

They may be sad, angry, irritable, anxious, several negative emotions will take them over.

They’ll question their decision. Did they make the right decision?

After several days, months or even years have passed, these people will finally feel a sense of relief. They’ll see that life is much better without the thing that they were holding onto.

There are two things to be wary of in both of these situations:

When a person naturally feels a sense of relief as soon as they have let go, this is a good thing. But it can be a bad thing, if a person is pretending to feel a sense of relief when they haven’t properly dealt with their emotions. Such people, no matter how wide they smile, they won’t experience true happiness because something is still weighing them down. If they need to go through the emotions to properly let go, they should.
For those who experience a slew of emotions, this is a good thing because people must deal with their problems in their own way. There’s no point burying one’s emotions if this will help them get over the thing that is bringing them sadness. But they should be careful not to go back to the thing that was bringing them sadness. Such people may feel that they are sad because they let go and the only way to find happiness is to bring back into their life what they let go of. In such a case, it will be difficult for these people to move on.

What is the key to letting go properly?

I believe that there is a way to let go so that you have let go in a healthy way for your own sanity.

If you are letting go of a job you cared about, a business, a hobby you wish you could have learned, or anything else, appreciating that you tried your best and gave it your all, having no regrets will allow you to let go healthily.

If you are letting go of a relationship, again appreciating that you tried your best BUT also forgiving the person, not holding any grudges will allow you to move on and let go in a healthy way.

If you have regrets, if you hold grudges, this will forever remind you of the past and will not allow you to properly let go and move on.

What to do to be happy after letting go?

Letting go is easier said than done. It is a very brave thing to do, one that takes a lot of courage.

But once you’ve pressed the pedal, it is time to find out how to navigate the roads to help you reach your happy destination.

There are things you could do to help you get through the process of letting go.

Get out and have fun

One way to let go is to take your mind off whatever you have let go.

Go out and have fun! Life is so short, it will pass you by within a blink of an eye.

The world is so beautiful, there are so many wonderful things to enjoy and experience, why should you waste your days feeling sad and sorry for yourself?

Meet your friends and family

There are people in this world that care about you and your happiness.

Meeting with those that love you will give you a sense of joy and remind you that not all is lost.

They’ll make you laugh. You could talk to them about what happened, it will help lift a burden off your shoulders. Your heart will feel lighter and they may also give you some useful advice on how to move forward. They may help you see that actually you have not been missing out on anything and this thing was holding you back.

Take up a new hobby or new project

So you have let go of something, what ever will you do now?

Well, luckily for you, the world is full of things you could do.

Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, start a new business, take on a new project, apply for a new job, make new friends, the list is endless.

When we are constantly learning and pushing ourselves, we are doing a service to our minds and this helps us move on.

Meditate / Find inner peace

One way to move on after letting go is to get busy, the other way is to actually focus fully on yourself.

I personally prefer this method because it really allows you to think about the issue at hand, focus on it, understand what went wrong, what you did, how to fix it and how to properly let go.

Once I’ve been through this process, then I get busy and move on 🙂

Meditation and indeed any method of finding inner peace, be it a walk through the woods, sitting in a church, by the beach, will help calm your mind and allow you to focus on the things that actually matter.

Your mind also requires rest and giving it a break will allow it to think and function better. In turn, this will allow you to feel better too.

Travel

Exploring new places and learning about new cultures is guaranteed to make you feel better, it sure makes me happier 🙂

As before, there’s so much to see and experience in life so never waste your days worrying about what didn’t go right.

Take care of yourself

Spend time to really look after yourself. Most likely, you neglected yourself while you were holding onto that thing and also after letting go.

Go for a massage, have a bath, listen to good music, cook good homemade food, spend time in the garden, smell the flowers, get a facial, do your nails, workout!

Just find a way to take care of your body and yourself because you are important and you deserve to be pampered.

Re-plan your life

When you are ready to, sit down and think about what you want from life.

It is essential to do this.

Do not let things throw your life plan out of the window.

Just because you did not get a job you wanted doesn’t mean that you should not keep trying to apply for another job that’s similar.

Just because your business failed does not mean that you should not start another business.

Just because you were hurt in love does not mean that you should not look for love.

Just because you failed at learning that skill or hobby does not mean that you cannot take up another skill or hobby.

My point is keep going. You must be strong. If you let things bring you down and distort your journey, several years later, you’ll look back and regret it. You’ll wish you had taken steps to get back on track.

Everything you do now shapes your future. So take the time you need to grieve, but when you are feeling better, come back to the drawing board and think about how to move forward. The key is to learn from what went wrong and adjust what you do next to improve your chances at being successful the next time.

I hope you enjoyed reading my post on happiness and letting go. These thoughts are based on my past experiences and helped me and perhaps they may help you too.

Do not be afraid to let go. There’s so much out there, so many beautiful things waiting for you to find if only you look.

I hope you have a wonderful day and stay strong 🙂